Humans are the most resourceful of monkeys. The twin challenges of avoiding
unwanted pregnancy and venereal diseases has been a preoccupation since ancient
times. The promise of safe, fun, recreational sex for all, facilitated condom creation,
spawned an entire industry and made a lot of hairless monkeys very happy.
Sex in the Cave
Solutions appeared early in evolution.The first condom example is painted
on a cave wall in France. Forget sex in the city. Promiscuous sex predates
cities.
Enter the Romans
Despite these earlier examples, we really have to thank the Romans. Not
only did they pioneer running water, sanitation, democracy, law and order, exciting
stadium entertainment (Christian meet lion?) their society also saw wide-spread
use of what we might recognize today as a condom. A Roman could deal with
waking from a wine-clouded bathhouse orgy with a hangover, but an unwanted
pregnancy or STD was quite another matter.
Condom Victory
Always inventive, they had the answer: condoms made of goats' bladders.
It doesn’t sound very appealing, but the “Roman Johnny” was likely very
effective. Goats’ bladders were an improvement on the Roman era
“condom victory”, which would not
have been out of place on “Game of Thrones” and utilized softened, stretched skin
or muscles belonging to enemies killed in battle. Like every other crazy idea
(tiger penis, anyone?) it also promised sexual virility (obviously not for the
vanquished).
When Antony met Cleopatra, you can be sure he wasn’t just bringing a few
bottles of ale to the date. He confidently had a few goat bladders poking out
the back pocket of his lorica segmentata.
Celebrate the Romans!
They brought us civilization, art, sculpture, the
appreciation of the naked form, and a way in which to enjoy our newly
appreciated bodies in a much freer way. Much of civilization was lost during
the dark ages… it’s incredible to think that within a couple of centuries human
technology had actually
regressed. The
dark ages were dark, literally, figuratively and sexually.
The Rubber We Know and Love
Yet one technology kept on going, progressing, reinventing itself. The
freedom enhancing condom. By 1855 goats were saved from having their bladders
turn into
prophylactics and
rubber was the choice material of the day. Sure, they were the diameter of a
bicycle tube, but there are teething problems with all great innovations.
In the current age we talk about the benefits of disruption, as if it’s
the holy grail to be sought in each industry. The simply condom is the purest
example of a good idea
at all times,
and an invention which needed just simple refinement over time (okay, a lot of
time).
So next time you rip open a condom wrapper and take out this little
thin lubricated rubber sheath, give a thought to history, think about your
great-great granddaddy and his bicycle tube, the Roman innovators, and cave
painters who left a mark on stone and our gene pool.
Plus, spare a thought for all the goats who gave their bladders so your
ancestors could… do what you’re about to.
Buy Condoms Online Right Here at Condomsales.com.au
Lucky for you this is the modern age so you have access to any type of condom at the click of the buy now button. Your condoms will be
delivered quickly and discreetly.
For wholesale enquirers please phone us directly on 1300 4 CONDOMS (1300 4 266
366) or email us.
Thanks for checking us out.